Happy birthday little Lobster

“One year later: first birthday!”

One year. One year… 365 full days…

That little worm who came out of my body one year ago is already becoming a little man. Don’t worry I’m not gonna go all pink hearts and flowers about him because it’s not who I am.

To be honest, when they placed him on my belly a few seconds after he was born, he was so fragile and terrified, I can’t say I felt love or happiness because I was confused and terrified too. He was probably like: who are you?? And I was like: who are you?? I was used to a feeling, to lots of kicking inside me, to someone hiccupping pretty often but NOT to a tiny little human, a real one breathing and making sounds!

Even during the first months I can’t say I felt “love”. I did feel that deep, unspeakable feeling that I had to, need to, take care of him. But I remember feeling deeply in love the first time I made him laugh, or smile, well… I was probably already crazy about him by that time, I’m just not very good with feelings.

Watching how Nature works is incredible. The huge progresses, the small discoveries, all the first times, the time he vomited on his daddy’s face (hahahaha! Just a few days ago by the way, still LMAO), the time I was changing him and he peed in his own mouth or that time he vomited in his own eyes and ears… hahaha! Poor little Lobster, sorry. Mummy is not making fun of you on your birthday. No. That would be very mean. Look! Mummy made you a birthday cake*!!

*Much healthier than what it looks like: sponge cake with apple puree layers and ricotta frosting. :)

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