Fears and doubts about parenthood

You will raise your child with endless doubts.

Whatever how many books they will write about it, there’s not “a way” to raise a child. You do it with your guts. That’s what you listen to. The most difficult part is to admit that you will DO something wrong even doing your best.

When L. was born, he was quite little for the standards, nothing to panic about, I just had to make sure he was eating enough to get bigger fast. Easy. But how do you do that when your child keep falling asleep and can’t find the strength to eat? Right, you can’t. It took a whole month of questioning and anxiety to make sure he was finally eating enough and regularly. After that I said enough, I didn’t have to be anxious all the time, I did fine, he’s fine, end of story.

So, as history always repeat itself…

I decided not to stress myself with weaning, and it went quite well, in my opinion. He ate everything and learned to chew almost immediately.  We started around 5 months the tasting and by 6 months he was used to eat something at lunch, a snack in the afternoon and at dinner, plus still a lot of breastfeeding obviously. So it went on. L. has never been a chubby-cheeked baby. He is the slender type. Very active. At 6 months he sat on his own, at 7 he was crawling and starting already to stand up. Never sick. Sleep the whole night if not disturb with teething.

So? I was quite proud of myself (even if all the credit is his!). Telling to myself yeah girl, see, you’re doing a fine job! Then when he turned 9 months old I went newly to see the paediatrician and my world fell apart with these six little words:

– Your child hasn’t grown enough.

– (What??)

– (And like pouring alcohol on the injury…) He is also eating too many fruits and vegetables.

– (Whaaaat?!!!)

– PS: You must introduce formula milk.

– (WTF?!)

Just like that, she destroyed 3 months of hard labor and sweat (baby-led weaning), my ego (I was SO proud that my child would eat lots of fruits and veggies!), and all my good principles about healthy eating and habits. Oh and not only that, I’m back spending four hours a day trying to feed him two damn baby-bottles (glass, cup or whatever because he never had baby-bottle) with a damn artificial liquid he, rightly, doesn’t give a damn about. I will spare you all the mental questioning and doubts for the next three months as a result of that conversation (Is it because I didn’t give him enough breastmilk? I should have gone with normal weaning maybe? Why didn’t I give him a baby bottle to drink water instead of a super cool glass so maybe now he would accept baby bottle? and so on…)

And the real education hasn’t started yet. Yep. :)



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