8 myths about new parenthood

8 facts about parenthood they tell you that aren’t true

They always tell you (in the scariest way possible!) life with kids changes everything.

So for once, let’s destroy some myths.

 

1- Forget alcohol: you won’t drink anymore

There’s no real study to prove if you can drink or how much you can actually drink without harming your baby (when breastfeeding) so I wouldn’t encourage anyone to drink, but a glass of wine or beer from time to time when you won’t feed him for the next three or four hours seems to me quite safe since it should take about 2 hours for a glass to leave blood. I’m of the idea that if a glass doesn’t kill me and actually make me feel better then it can’t be harmful.

2- Forget bars and restaurant: you won’t go out anymore

That’s the worst one I’ve heard. It might be true the 1st month because that little thing seems (is) so fragile. My Lobster went to his first (quite) aperitivo in a bar at 1 month. By the time he was 2 months he already went to a pub, a birthday party and so on. Of course you don’t exaggerate. If you’re able to stay late out it’s only because he’s already sleeping! You don’t go out everyday either, not just for baby’s sake but for your sake as well!

3- Forget clothes and shoes: you won’t go shopping anymore

So untrue! Afternoon shopping is great for mums and babies. A perfect excuse to go out of the house, take some fresh air and change your mind. You just try clothes on at home for convenience. Not so good for your wallet though.

4- Forget your old friends (childfree): you won’t see them anymore

I disagree with this one too. You see a bit less your friends because you go out a bit less of course but buddies are buddies. As long as you go out, you’ll see them. Just don’t expect people to always visit you because they usually see parents like over busy people (which is quite true…).

5- Forget your passions: you won’t have time to do anything anymore

Well, time is tight with a kid in your life, that’s for sure. You certainly won’t find time to do as many things as before (or you’re my superhero!), but with the help of 2 new skills that you will develop (organisation and problem solving), you will find a way.

6- Forget about being pretty: you will look like sh*t all the time

Why? Why people have to say that?! I remember hearing that: “you will be so so so tired you won’t have time anymore for make-up and stupid stuff like hair and dress well.” Feeling good, feeling pretty is not stupid stuff, on the contrary, at the beginning you spend 90% of your time being a full-time mum, so the 10% of the remaining time when you go out and meet friends, you don’t want to feel like a mess and you don’t want to feel like you’re “just” a mum.

7- Having a child costs a lot of money

If you want everything new and branded for your child, yes absolutely, it will cost you an arm and a leg. If you find a way to ask, everyone knows someone with children and every family has stuff to give away, and if you have the chance to breastfeed (way cheaper than powdered milk!) the only thing you’ll have to buy during the first months are nappies. Of course, that’s before baby starts going to crèche, then school, college, university…

8- You won’t be the same. Ever again.

That’s a really stupid thing to say. To be the same person all your life, with the same taste and the same habits sounds pretty boring, so in that sense, I hope not to be the same anymore. But having a baby doesn’t mean change of personality. You might have less time for some people, you might become boring for others because you don’t get drunk anymore and go to after party. But you don’t care about those people, because you are completely and daily overwhelmed by love (and other crazy emotions).

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5 thoughts on “8 myths about new parenthood

  1. I would argue, to an extent, all of these myths are true at some point, but they do subside and life moves on – differently – but just as richly. As you communicate here, the key is holding onto our true selves through all the seasons!

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    1. Hi Lauren, thanks for sharing your thought! What you say is also true of course and it obviously depends on how you feel about it. I’ve heard so many parents and probably more often non-parents saying all those things like it’s the end of the world and… of course it’s tough, of course it changes your life but it’s just not all dark and scary! Having your first child is always quite scary, future parents asking themselves “how much our life’s gonna change?”(I remember asking that to myself!) so I just wanted to bring also hope and comfort to them, because being parents is also lots of fun :)

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  2. True but also true what Lauren says. Those spooky words people like to repeat with that expression on the face are empty, superficial.
    You can absolutely choose the rhythm you want to give to your parenthood: of course the key to fulfillment is let your child free and kill all anxiety.
    Said so I must admit I only see very few of my childfree friends, and I always look like shit!!
    And yes I’ve changed, everything has changed and I’m so grateful for it. Only a fool wouldn’t want to change: changing is cool, it means learning, new energy, new self.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Fede, first of all you never look like sh*t, you’re too pretty for that, so shush :)
      For the childfree friends part I actually thought about you writing this post! I guess, once again, it depends on everyone. It’s probably because I don’t have so many friends with children yet or because I find childfree friends much more available that I still see more of them now.

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